Emotional Colonization

What is Emotional Colonization? 

Written by: Staff Therapist Amerah Muhammad

The concept of emotional colonization to me is an overarching effect of Western patriarchy, a conditioning that teaches us to dim our inner worlds in order to be palatable to those around us. Many of these ideas were engineered out of desperation and a need to hide the atrocities happening behind closed doors. If oppressors could catastrophize certain peoples or genders’ innate expressions, labeling them as “too much,” “hysterical,” and even “savage,” they could violently and intentionally control how individuals learn to show up in a space. What we call preference then becomes an illusion of choice. 

Rational thought dominates how intelligence is defined. We’re often taught to think and strategize over feeling and observing, guided by Caucasian male-dominated philosophies and sciences that present narrow populations as universal truths. The nuclear family pulls us away from the community. Educational systems force us to sit still,  follow orders, and sever us from movement and sensation, ultimately suppressing our very expression. In reality, this systematic numbing punishes the parts of us that are alive, intuitive, and embodied. 

Helpful Tips to Actively Combat this Conditioning:

Make Coming Back to Community a Ritual 

Whether it’s a weekly or monthly (because life be like that sometimes) meetup with the homegirls, a book club, volunteering at your local organizations, or even flying solo to an event that genuinely speaks to you. To the best of your ability, create a routine where connection is centered. It’s easy to isolate, when intergenerational trauma has normalized forced separation. Prioritize discussion, laughter, and shared presence. Support and be supported. Reclaim community as a ritual, and let it nourish your mind, body, and soul.

Pre-Schedule Time to Feel

This might look like carving out a time-slot in your hectic schedule to feel the emotions you’ve neglected throughout the day. The good, the bad, and the “ugly”. The goal is to allow the thoughts to come up by observing them without judgment. Whatever feeling arises, feel it fully! Cry your eyes out if that’s what you need, scream, shake and rock back and forth. As Bessel van der Kolk says, “The Body Keeps the Score.” True healing isn’t just emotional, it’s physical. Your body is already carrying what’s suppressed in a host of adverse ways. This gives you a chance to meet yourself where you truly are and to release. Rejoice in being your own magical alchemist!

Pamper, Rest, and Repeat

As the great Audre Lorde said “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation. Rest is revolutionary. And this is not the rest that looks like mind-numbing social media scrolling. “It really is those damn phones.” Capitalism thrives on distraction and unfortunately, our bodies pay the price. Step off the mental rat race. Run a bubble bath. Whip up a DIY face or hair mask from whatever's in your fridge. Ground yourself into your body. Rest isn’t optional, it’s resistance.

Try This: Take a double inhale and long exhale. I like to place my hands on a tense spot, breathing into it and visualizing sending soothing energy there. 

Get Movin!

As much as you can allow, move your body. I don’t care if it’s 20 jumping jacks in your bedroom or just tapping your shoulders. Getting out of these emotionally stuck states means getting out of your head and into your body. Take a walk, maybe even barefoot on grass if you can. This isn’t just exercise, but an ancestral practice. Indigenous peoples have long cultivated this connection to the body, the earth, and life all around us. Reclaim your connection to the plethora of life-forms around and beneath you, including what is beyond what the human eye can see. 

~ Click here to schedule a free consultation with me to tap into a deeper version of you. 

Inspired by: @pat.radical.therapist post on IG