Ancient Delivery
Written by: Staff Therapist Amerah Muhammad MHC-LP
There’s just something deeply intentional and intimate about writing someone a letter. In a world where phones and high speed data sit at our fingertips, sending a message (or ignoring one) has become quicker and easier than ever before. Our elders however, were accustomed to a more conscious form of communication. I vividly remember being little and stumbling upon my aunt's small chest, tucked underneath some clothes in her closet. Inside, it held both beauty and sorrow. When I opened it, I found shiny gold and silver jewelry, Polaroids of family, and a single photograph of a young man I did not recognize. Roughly folded beneath it all, laid green sheets of paper, creased and worn, with black ink stretched across the pages. Nosily, as most adolescents are, I unfolded the letter and read it to myself quietly. It was such a visceral experience that I recall it like it was yesterday. Even still, it brings tears to my eyes. Now without getting too much into her business, I’ll give you the gist. It was an unsent letter written to a very special someone. A letter coated in longing and heartbreak. Without knowing her intentions of sending, I know with certainty that it served one powerful purpose…release. Sometimes it’s not about how the receiver digests the message but better yet, how the soul of the sender can eliminate what it's been suppressing for too long.
Self Healing
Catharsis.
If you’re unfamiliar with the word, it is a noun that represents the process of releasing pent up stored feelings, an emotional purge, if you will. This is an essential part of navigating challenging experiences. It’s not enough to simply “get over” something; you have to go through it, trusting that the next time it arises, it will settle a little more gently within your spirit. Writing a letter, to someone or yourself, requires a rawness and openness that can be profoundly healing. You might even write a letter to your inner child offering compassion, protection and reassurance. You can even write to your future self, sending loving affirmations and even asking questions about who you are becoming. This practice allows you to track your evolution and cultivate a deep relationship with the many beautiful versions of yourself that unfold over time. Some people do this at the beginning of every year, and open the letter the following January, witnessing their own growth in hindsight. Your letter is yours to keep, to burn, or to bury, allow your spirit to choose whichever form of alchemization aligns with your journey.
“Write it down on real paper with a real pencil. And watch shit get real.” - Erykah Badu
Mending Relational Ruptures
For those who feel called to actually send a letter, this can be a beautiful way to connect vulnerably with someone. I would gently advise writing it with little to no expectations of a specific response. Do it for you. There is something so sacred about letter writing. As mentioned earlier, the accessibility of our devices often strips away intentionality. You have to find a working pen, a sheet of paper, and a bird to deliver it (jk). No but really, you have to locate someone's home address and go through the tedious mechanisms of the mailing system. Or, you can courageously will yourself to travel to that individual and deliver it by hand. Writing a letter to someone with the goal of them reading it takes real bravery. For many, it might even feel safer to the nervous system rather than a face-to-face confrontation, especially when the other person's communication style can feel triggering. (Your parents might come to mind.) The letter allows the receiver, whether a parent, partner or a platonic friend, to sit with the sensitive material without pressure or compulsion. There's no instant rebuttal. You have the room to express love or pain without interruption, and they too are given space to process without interruption. And sometimes from that space, the true healing work can begin.
I am currently accepting new clients! Book a consultation for therapy in New York City, with a therapist who deeply believes in the power of writing as a method to healing and wants to journey alongside you!
~ Amerah